Zone Out or Zoom In?
So often we spend time zoning out—whether it be watching Netflix, online shopping or doom scrolling on social media. Perhaps its drugs or alcohol, work or sex, or perhaps an addiction to external validation. These are all coping mechanisms to avoid dealing with the stress and uncomfortable feelings inside of us. Instead of sitting with them, letting them be wildly uncomfortable, we want to quell them or run from them. If we ignore them, we think, perhaps they will go away.
Whatever your method of zoning out or "coping" is, it’s important to recognize it. It’s an invitation to find a new way to relax, and get into a space where you can zoom in on your feelings, as uncomfortable and challenging as they may be. Sitting in our messy emotions is the only way to figure out what's really behind our pain or discomfort. Often times, we feel hostage to our feelings, but if we can sit with them, we have a chance at freeing them.
Don’t be afraid to explore your feelings; talk to them, see what they are made of. By zooming in, we can get to know ourselves better. Once we do that, we lose the need to zone out as much. We end up enjoying sitting with ourselves because we gain more insight, more clarity. When these emotions come up (overwhelm, impatience, anger, jealousy, fear, sadness, disgust), the question to ask is can I make space to just feel them completely, in full force, in order to get to the heart of the pain?
Can I give myself compassion?