The Grass Is Not Greener
The grass is not always greener—in fact, it never is. Why? The answer is shockingly simple. It's because we are hoping for something to happen that causes us to feel better, to feel more alive. We desire what's currently not in our present reality, what's outside of us. We think if we go to that place, or attain this thing, or be with this person, or have this experience, then I’ll be happy. When we think that way, we are ignoring all the abundance right in front of our face. Our warped focus is the culprit because we focus on what we lack vs what we have.
In fact, within our human history, right now is one of the most abundant times according to the book, Super Abundance. I remember coming back from my friend's wedding in Cartegena, and upon arriving back in the U.S. I could feel the opportunity, the abundance so much more acutely due to the contrast. That's not to say Cartegena isn't rich in its own unique way, it's just noticing how my perspective shift was all that was needed to recognize how much we have in America.
I worked in advertising for a long time, and advertising is built on selling you on what you don't have, which keeps our consumerist economy humming; 70% of our GDP based on consumerism vs production. Our entire paradigm is based on a perspective of lack and a quest for more.
This is not to say it's not exciting to realize our full potential and strive for more. The famous psychologist Abraham Maslow, who coined the phrase hierarchy of needs, places self-actualization at the very top of the pyramid. In his mind, self-actualization comes once our survival-based needs are met. The irony is that our culture keeps us in a constant mindset of survival mode, always striving for more external success. If self-actualization comes once our survival needs are met, why don't we be brave enough to step outside of lack mentality, and step inside our being; only then can we self-actualize. Even if you have risen to the top 1%, even those people are still hustling and competing. So when do you stop? Maybe we are always trying by nature, but what if we shifted the focus to self-actualize internally instead of actualizing externally.
If we jump out of that rat-race mentality, only then do we have the space to not only feel fulfilled, but to appreciate everything in our lives that is amazing already. The solution is right before us, waiting. It's simply a perspective switch.
What our society doesn't send us messages about is the grass is always growing within us, and the question is: are we fertilizing your own garden? If we can’t plant seeds and care for the soil here, why would you be able to do it over there? It's an illusion. Sure, the landscape might be more pleasing to your eyes, maybe you prefer palm trees to oak trees, or green eyes to brown eyes, but at the end of the day, YOU ARE HERE. Wherever you are.
The solution to the grass is greener mentality is simply to appreciate all that we do have now. Many call this a gratitude practice. It's a practice because we have to practice it or we dare fall back into the cultural zeitgeist. When we allow ourselves to recognize all the abundance that exists already, what and who we truly love comes into focus. We can amp up spending time with the wonderful people who are already in our lives, try new things, stretch our comfort zones, relax, and do more of what we love (instead what we don't desire to do).
We have the power, right here, right now, to shift our perspective and give ourselves permission to stop striving and start actualizing— within ourselves.
Soul-Prompt:
How can I appreciate, or water the life I'm already living?
Who are all the amazing people in my life right now and how can I spend more time with them?
What are all the blessings I have that are right in front of my face?
What are some micro-tweaks that can enhance my feelings of joy, love and gratitude every day?
