False Hope

Hope can be a lifeline—it speaks of a better future than our present reality. In relationships, one can hope that it gets better, hope that person loves me in the same way I love them, hope the job will get better—whatever it is. While hope is a wonderful tool to move us through hard times, it also can become a crutch, a tool to not face reality. We all want to believe the best about people, situations, that our love, appreciation or value will be reflected to us in the other(s), but often, it is not.

We can use hope to not look at what is bothering us, what is real, what is too painful to face. Cognitive dissonance can be painful—how can I love this person so much and at the same time they want to see other people (maybe they will finally see it my way), or they say hurtful things (but they love me), or they have an unhealthy addiction (maybe I can help them). When this form of false hope occurs, we can trust that it’s not about the other; it’s a ourselves. False hope keeps us protected from the pain we will have to feel by facing reality. Real hope inspires us to grow and change. Can you tell the difference?

Soul-Prompt: Is there some area in my life where I am using hope as a defense mechanism to avoid facing pain? And how does hope positively serve me, inspiring me to change or grow?