False Hope

Hope can be a lifeline—it speaks of a better future than our present reality.

In relationships or situations involving relationships, one can hope that person loves you in the same way you love them, or hope that boss at the job will get better, but while hope is a wonderful tool to move us through hard times, it also can become a crutch, a tool to not face reality.

We all want to believe the best about people, situations. We want to believe that our love, appreciation or value will be reflected to us in the other(s), but sometimes, it is not. At that point, we have a choice to face that reality or keep deluding ourselves. If we accept, than the best medicine is often to have a deep wail about it, cry your eyes out, and let that pain body release itself so you can then feel renewed, back to center, yourself.

We can use hope as a sly tool to not look at what is bothering us, what is really going on, what is too painful to face. Some examples of how false hope can show up in the form of cognitive dissonance are—

How can I love this person so much and at the same time they want to see other people (maybe they will finally see it my way), or

They say hurtful things (but they love me), or they have an unhealthy addiction (maybe I can help them).

When this form of false hope occurs within ourselves, we can trust that it’s not about the other; it’s about ourselves. False hope keeps us protected from the pain we will have to feel by facing reality. Real hope inspires us to grow and change. Can you tell the difference?

Soul-Prompt: Is there some area in my life where I am using hope as a defense mechanism to avoid facing pain?

And how does hope positively serve me, inspiring me to change or grow?

If this resonates, feel free to check out my post on Rose Colored Glasses syndrome. Also here is a great link and posted below about how childhood abandonment or neglect can lead to limerance in adulthood.